Need
by mabelreid
Summary: One Shot. Sometimes just loving her from afar is not enough. Sometimes the need for her is too great. Sometimes dreams come true REIDEMILY


_A/n hey all… This was written a long time ago and never finished. I found it again and decided to finish and post it. This is a one shot and follows cannon to the end of season two._

_Disclaimer: See my profile_

He walked the night streets trying not to give into the burning need in his gut. He shouldn't be here in the late autumn night. He should be home in his little apartment. He should be… Well… there are many places he could be, but now he was here on the streets of DC and it was like a fever in his blood. It was more powerful then any hold the drugs had over him.

He turned a corner and there she was. She was the one that he'd been looking for that night. She looked just like the real thing.

"Hey baby… you want a date!"

How many times had he heard those words? How many times had he ducked down an alleyway and into a doorway or behind a dumpster? How many times had he done this?

"Yeah… How much?"

The dark haired woman eyed him up and down. "You're cute baby… I'll do you for free."

"No… I'll pay. How much?"

"Okay sweet thing… if you insist."

He had to insist, getting a freebie was too much like fucking the real thing, and he couldn't have the real thing.

She led him into the alley way and he took her up against the dumpster, rutting like an animal and not making eye contact. He couldn't look her in the eye. If he did, it would be over.

They all looked like Emily, but they weren't her. It was okay though, they didn't care if he cried out her name. For one insane moment he could imagine that he was fucking the real thing and she was crying out his name. He didn't feel the cold of the November night; the only thing he felt was the heat in his brain and groin. He was blind and deaf to everything else.

One hand squeezed hard into the flesh of her thigh. Her legs were wrapped around him and her breath was hot on his neck. He didn't feel any of it. He came with a loud cry and the pain of orgasm made his legs weak, and his heart thump so hard, he almost passed out.

Later, he left her slumped against the wall shoving his money into her sweater. She called after him that if he wanted a regular thing, she'd be happy to take care of him. He didn't want that. He didn't want a regular thing. If he had a regular thing, he'd get attached. That was why he didn't look them in the eye. He wanted Emily. They were only poor substitutes.

He walked down the street, making his way back to the Metro station and home. The street was crowded for that time of night and no one noticed him. That was the way he liked it. He was left to his thoughts. There was no one there to judge him.

He thought back to before he knew Elle. It was her advent into his life that had sent it out of control. He'd loved her from the first moment, even though she was less than patient with his ramblings. She teased him almost as badly as Morgan did.

When he'd started dating her after the incident in LA with Lila Archer, she'd told him she'd teased him like that because she was so attracted to him. He supposed it was her way of flirting. He didn't get it for a long time. He'd been a virgin before her, and she'd taught him things he didn't know were physically possible to do to the female body. She loved to experiment and he benefited from her enthusiasm.

Then the Fisher King had shot her and she changed. He'd been so scared that she would die, but he couldn't show it. No one on the team knew about their relationship, so he had no one to turn to when she left.

The night before she killed a suspect in cold blood he tried to help her, but instead she'd fucked his brains out and then she'd left leaving him a note. Why did everyone leave him notes? What was wrong with him?

He didn't like Emily when she first entered the BAU. She was replacing his beloved Elle and he hated her for that. She played chess and that took Gideon away from him too. He'd wanted her to leave. He tried to make her leave with his rudeness after the Tobias Henkel case, but she stayed around and although he'd ignored her calls in New Orleans and was generally mean, she didn't go away. She forgave him when his drug abuse came out and he had to go to rehab. Her compassion had burned him and he hated her for that too.

After he'd gotten clean, she'd begun to talk to him on the plane after cases. They even played chess. When Gideon left, she'd been the one he'd called at the cabin. He didn't know why but he'd felt the overwhelming need to see her. She had held him and let him cry and rant. He told her everything; all about his mother and his father leaving. Memories he'd thought long buried came out and she understood.

He began falling in love with her that night, but he couldn't tell her. His shyness with her was like a disease, and he was helpless to let go of the insecurities he had and tell her how he felt. So he went into DC, and found women that looked like her.

The Metro ride home was long a tedious and when he finally made it back to his apartment, he wanted the escape of drugs and sleep. He couldn't have the drugs, so he went to bed and tossed and turned till it was time to get up and go to work in the morning. Maybe he couldn't have her, but he could still see her everyday and that would have to do.

--

The case was bad this time. They went to Seattle and caught a child killer. The son of a bitch had kidnapped, raped and killed seven small girls before they caught him and Emily had been with Morgan when they busted down the door. The last little girl was killed when they busted in and Emily had killed the un-sub when he turned his weapon on her.

He dropped his bag in the hallway after slamming the door to his apartment. He was so angry all the time. The doctor said it was a part of leaving the drug addiction behind, but he was sure it had more to do with his inability to approach the real Emily.

He pulled his sweater vest over his head and went to his bedroom. He changed into jeans and a sweater. He was going back to DC; he had to find another substitute. It was the only way that he could forget the awful outcome of the case.

He pulled out his wallet and opened it. He was down to his last twenty dollars. Damn it. If he went looking for a date, he'd be living on peanut butter and jelly sandwiches till he got paid in a week.

He decided that it didn't matter, he'd never really bothered about eating anyway.

There was a knock at his door and he jumped guiltily. Who the hell was at his door this time of night? The knock came again and he was furious. He didn't want to talk to anyone. He strode quickly to the door and yanked it open.

"What the hell are you doing here?" He couldn't believe that Emily was standing on his doorstep. Every day for months, he'd had this fantasy and now it was coming true and he didn't know how to deal with it.

Emily looked completely shocked at his tone "I'm sorry Reid. I just wanted to talk. I'll go if you want me to."

_Yes… please go! I can't stand to have you so close. _

"No… I mean I'm sorry, I was just surprised. You can come in if you want." He stepped back and hoped that she didn't see in his eyes the fiery lust in his belly.

"I was concerned. You seemed to be really upset after the case."

"It was a terrible case. We didn't get there in time to save that little girl."

He motioned her to sit down and she did. He should be asking her to leave, but she was there and he couldn't do it. It had been a mistake to let her in, but something wouldn't let him tell her to go.

"No, there's more to it than that."

"There's nothing else." He insisted.

She should go before stumbling on the truth. He shifted and sat in a chair next to the couch. She smelled like cinnamon and he was getting aroused. She had to go, he couldn't stand it. He could feel the heat from her body even though she was on the couch and he was in his chair.

"Reid… Are you sure you're okay?"

"I told you I'm just upset, there's nothing more." He crossed his legs and wondered how long she would stay.

"You're fidgeting and you're sweating. Are you sick?"

"No… I'm not sick. I just want to be alone."

_No… I don't want to be alone… Please don't go!_

Emily looked very taken aback and it only fueled his discomfort. Why was she getting upset? He didn't ask her to come to his place. He wanted her to be here, but not out of sympathy. Yes… he was glad she was alive, that the bastard they had tracked was dead, but now he wanted her to leave. She didn't love him or want him. Her pity burned him.

"Reid why are you acting like this I never -"

Her eyes were so dark. You could get lost in there depths. He looked into those eyes and was lost with only one way out. He made the only decision he could and moved to the couch. She flinched and let out a little scream when he leapt off the chair. He ignored the surprise on her face and moved in close to kiss her.

She pushed him away. "What are you doing Reid?"

"I'm tired of pretending I don't care about you." He whispered in her ear. He felt her tremble under his hands, but he didn't care if she was afraid.

He kissed her again when she began to speak, cutting her off in the middle of the sentence. His hands explored the outside of her shirt while his tongue sought entrance to her mouth. Her lips were hot and tightly closed, but his persistent tongue found its way inside.

His hands pushed up her blouse and found a breast. When he moved down to kiss the breast, she began to protest in a breathless voice. "Reid… don't, please I… don't… stop."

One thumb pushed down the cup of her bra and his mouth attached itself to her nipple. He heard her groan and he smiled.

"Reid, please…"

"Tell me no Emily. Tell me to stop and you can walk away now. If you stay I'm going to make love to you. I can't stop myself, I love you Emily." One hand found the exposed breast and began to play with the hard nipple.

"Spencer… I"

"Tell me to stop Emily. Do it now and I'll walk away?"

"I… I can't Spencer. I want you so bad. I love you too."

She loved him. He never thought to hear that from her. He looked at her mussed hair and her kiss swollen lips and was suddenly shy.

"Where's your bedroom Spencer?"

He took her hand and led her there. The rest of the encounter passed in a whirl of shedding clothes and hot kisses. He took her on the bed, stroking and licking her body, while she did the same to him. He kissed every part of her body he could see, and his hands brought her so close to orgasm so many times that when he finally entered her and began to thrust deep into her core she came instantly wailing his name. He rocked into her slowly, telling her in breathless tones all the things he'd wanted to say for so long, till the beating of his heart and the building pleasure in his groin stilled his tongue and he fell over the edge crying out her name. It was finally real!

--

Emily woke first and she watched him sleep for a long time. How had she resisted him for so long? She loved him with every fiber of her being, and she was going to make sure that he knew it for the rest of his life. She stroked his hair back and thought how he resembled a young boy when his face was at peace. He was so beautiful it made her heart ache. She would watch over him. She would make sure no one ever hurt him again. She entwined her hand with his and slept, if God was good they would sleep without nightmares.

THE END


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